The university hospital I went to was a labyrinth of elevators and stairwells. I was just waiting for the flying Medusa heads and the zombies to start the welcoming party. Exams go super quick in Korea. They have this assembly line of doctors that are locked away in several rooms. First they had me put my stuff in a locker. Then they bombarded me with various tests.
The first one I went through was the eye exam: my left eye is shot so they did not tell me anything that I don't already know. I am near-sighted in my left eye and far sighted in my right. My right eye is getting a little bad though. I used to be 20/20 out of that eye but maybe I am getting weaker in that eye.
The next one was the hearing test. Dealing with a bad left eye really heightens the other senses because I passed with perfect hearing!
Next was the blood pressure test. I have a slightly high systolic rate and a low diastolic rate that has been the same for years. Nothing new there. I have been sitting at a 140 systolic for umpteenth amount of years with no sign of it really going up so I should be fine there.
Next was the dental exam. For personal reasons this section is censored. I'll just say my teeth are bad shape and move on.
And then I went up to the clock tower to battle Vlad himself...or so I thought. Vlad took the form of a cute Korean nurse in her mid 20s. I was totally caught off guard with the whole process. Usually examiners take up to 2 pints of blood at the most, but this Vlad in disguise was definitely making a withdrawal today. So I wound up getting 4 pints of blood out of me! She wanted me to pee for a diabetic test, but I could not do it right away so I had to come back. Before her fangs protruded for seconds I made haste to the X-ray machine.
The X-ray exam is one of the final tests for the procedure. After that they did a BMI which the results were strange. I actually shrank a little, but it could be do to bad posture. My back doesn't hurt so I am not going to dwell on where my 4 centimeters went! I actually like the idea of being a little shorter! To me that was great news. Maybe my head will suffer less concussions. I am surprised there wasn't a reflexology exam as well, but back to the second encounter with Vlad!
I came back with my vial of holy water or holy bladder (your choice!) and I gave it to her. My urine tested low for blood sugar so I shouldn't have diabetes.The whole procedure had me feeling super faint was after I passed out at work from her
Hopefully everything goes fine here. I do not want to be deported because I shrunk or my left eye is a little bad. That would not be a good way to start off Korean New Year's. Hey with my superhuman hearing, I could be a superhero that wears an eye patch that magically shrinks on command! Sweet I have bizarre super powers after leaving Reno! At least I got something out of the place! Or I could just be a pirate =P. I better start working on enunciating my "ARGS" I mean my r's.
Sorry I couldn't resist.
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