Lately I have developed such tactiturn towards blogging. However if I do not talk about this epic adventure, I will die a thousand deaths and ajummas with giant visors and counterfeit handbags will haunt my dreams. My feet are fucking big. There is no simple way of putting this. My feet are so big that you can land aircraft on them. They are so fucking big that I can charge people rent to live inside my shoes.
I should go into a little bit of detail: I am a stubborn mofo when it comes to learning languages. So I decided that the whole day I was going to not use English. I usually can get away with this, but when visiting Itaewon (이태원), you sometimes need to throw that rule out the window. While I was more than capable of doing this by myself, I happened to come across a fellow foreigner who was willing to help me so that's why. Originally I looked up an address on the internet and I was able to find a place, but it turns out they actually sold suits instead. Luckily the person he was with was Korean and she was able to save the day.
The first place I went to was this seedy back alley which was down this narrow corridor. I was so tall that I had to crab walk down the stairs just to peep this ajosshi's wares. He had my size shoes, but I had a choice between ajoshi-pointy-style shoes that were slippery or ajosshi-pointy-style shoes that were not slippery.
The foreigner herein will be referred to as Justin. Justin said that he shopped "there for some Nike's and said that they fell apart a month later." The Itaewon Ajosshi told me in Korean that he had a special sale just for me because I brought in a pretty Korean lady. Ok, creepyness check. He was going to offer me a deal of a life time. Bullshit meter check. He told me 100,000won was a real bargain for his shoes. Scam meter off the charts. To make a long story short I beat feet and went to withdrawal cash.
After I withdrew cash I went into this store with two ajummas and haggled with shoe prices with them. NO HAGGLING NO LIFE! Originally they wanted 140,000won for some authentic hand made Italian shoes. While that is probably normal retail for them, I decide to enlist some help with my haggle. I told my pretty Korean assistant to tell them "There is so many shoes to choose from and I am having a hard time making up my mind. Maybe a discount will help me make up my mind" I actually did have a hard time choosing and I wanted a discount so it wasn't a lie at all. ;) I walked away with the pair I wanted for around 120,000won which were not the shiny-pointy-ajosshi-shoes that I have luckily evaded.
Next I went to Wang Thai which is located at the same building as What the Book is. It is a Thai restuarant with a plethora of eatings to choose from. And for my bottomless pit of a stomach, it is always seasons eatings. I had chicken curry and some other Thai dish. And I have to say that that was the best Thai food that I have ever had. I will certainly be back en masse. My dinner conversation ranged with topics related to English employment, Ohio, and dentistry in Korea, along with the law. In other words somewhat random, yet some what coordinated. The law came up mainly because Justin's hagwon isn't paying into pension and insurance which is totally illegal. I advised him to file at the pension office, but that could have it's mixed results.
After purchasing my shoes and celebrating the season for eating, I wound up on a subway heading for home. No, the adventure is far from over. I was to be whisked away to a Hof to have another conversation with subway ajosshi (here to be referred to as Mystical Ajosshi as his alias). SA or Mystical Ajosshi wanted to have deep conversations in English. He was actually a fairly open-minded person.
First we talked about travelling to different countries and we wound up talking about Romania and Vlad the Impaler because he worked in that country. Then we talked about GM and Chevrolet because he worked for the Chevrolet plant in Korea. Then we started talking about longevity at the Hof bar and he went into this talk about how he spent his time studying English. We then started talking about Confucian Analects being memorized along the health benefits of studying Tai Chi Chuan （太極拳）then the health benefits of drinking and the Okinawan diet.
When I mentioned the Okinawan diet, surprisingly he wasn't as apprehensive to classify Okinawan people as Japanese people when I told him the history behind the people. I almost feel like a delegate sometimes when it comes to explaining Okinawa to Korean people because geography skills are surprising low compared to their math and science skills. To cast away any doubt my mentioned statement, I should reiterate that younger children seem to have better geography skills than their Korean elders because the level of education has skyrocketed between the two.
One part of his conversation was this:
When I first started Taichi I couldn't feel any spark in my hands. But after a few months, I could breathe for one minute straight and after 5 years I could feel and electric numbness in my penis and rectum. And finally after 15 years I was able to feel it in the palms of my hands. I am interested in things that will promote logevity so that is why I began Taichi.
Around 3am I parted ways from the Mystic Ajosshi, never to see him again. He was so epic to talk to on a multitude of levels and not just about sparking penie. It is funny to see that Korean men are open about a lot of things and can speak frankly about things without feeling embarrased. He said the above statement so frankly, one could not help but bask in the awe of his awesomeness. (Maybe it was perhaps best avoided, but it is something that worth mentioning because it sort of gives an insight into Korean culture.) While it does sound like Tantric, he made it perfectly clear he was studying Taichi. Those was his exact words almost verbatim. Now everytime I wear my new shoes, I think of the man on the subway who went on random wtf conversations about philosophy. My day was the makings of a Kubrick film without the late film director (also noted for his sometime random musings.
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